Celebrate the Journey by Detaching from the Outcome

By Becky Tilahun, PhD

As the New Year begins, reflection on the past year and making new goals for the New Year is a common practice. Upon assessing our achievements of the year, it is easy to focus on unmet goals and incomplete projects and be critical of ourselves for not getting the “resolution” done. A better approach when it comes to self-evaluation at the end of a given year is using the psychological mindset called “detachment from outcome.”

Why it’s important

Often times when evaluating our performance, we focus on the goal or “outcome” rather than the “process,” which is our actions and effort.

For example, parents can be intentional in being the best parents they could be, yet the child may grow up to have behavioral problems (outcome). A student can do everything they can to perform well in class, but many factors can predict the final grade such as getting sick the night before an exam (outcome). A manager can do everything he/she can to build an effective team environment, yet there may be a lot of discord in his/her team (outcome).

If in these scenarios, success is measured by outcome rather than process, the individuals will be left feeling like failures. But if they evaluated their performance based on the actual effort they put towards their goal, they will feel fulfilled and pleased.

How to get started

Detachment from outcome is having the attitude of focusing on what is within our control and being willing to accept the outcome, which may not always look like the way we envision it. Detachment from the outcome means once we set a goal, our focus is on whether we put the effort and daily discipline but not the specific outcome.

As we reflect on 2017, let’s celebrate the journey itself, congratulating ourselves for the ways we strived toward our goals and for the hard work we put into them — even when we cannot put the gratifying check mark to say it is “done.”